Saturday, October 22, 2011

Lovin' the Walmart

Picture this:

11:30pm at the local/slightly ghetto Walmart
I am in line with 2 very "classy" girls on their way to a club. My guess they are in the age range of 17-19 in the most random clothing I have ever seen and no, it is NOT a costume. As I am standing in line listening to them talk about their night ahead of them wearing bright colored animal print tight spandex dresses and shenanigans, I notice that the purchase they are buying is gum and a "buty" which if you don't know (which I did not) is a pair of underwear with padding to give you a bigger butt.

2 questions:
1. I am pretty sure that last I checked girls were trying to decrease the size not increase...did I miss something?
2. Why on earth is the poor girl putting a buty and gum on a credit card! I mean going in to debt for a big but and good breathe?? REALLY?

And then I look down at my purchases
Cat food and vitamins

At what point did I become the lady buying pet food in a cardigan and jeans while the 18 year olds are plotting their night on the town?

I have never felt older. AND I have never been more okay with being older than that moment at the ghetto Walmart.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Embracing the madness

Do you ever have those days that you think “I want a do over”….where you want to go back to bed and pretend that this day never happened and start all over…well, welcome to my day. I have to say for the most part I find humor in pretty much everything I do…for example….

Last week…I wore a “fashion forward” shirt with a zipper in the back and this is the response I got...Mark wearing/posing in his shirt backwards.

Then I got a voice mail that said “Eiko, if you know who this number is and you think it is worth your time you should call me and se should hang out…” Let start with this.

1. If you are not one of the 500 contacts in my phone I am going with you are not someone I want to talk to…in fact if you are not in my phone I don’t even want to screen you.
2. I think I know who this guy is and to be quite honest I am pretty sure I my exact words when we hung up were “Never going to happen”.
3. If you are not man enough to apologize or even have the guts to leave your name…why bother? Do you really think I will call? Weird. Again, never going to happen.

Today…man talk about a perfect storm. So I decided to get the most out of the early Fall and the last bit of summer and so I wore some sweet platform Aldo shoes.
1. Just because they are platform contrary to what people think they are NOT “stripper shoes”…there is no clear plastic heels, glitter or anything that would lead you to believe they are used for that purpose.
2. I do not use the stairs at work because my shoes are so high that I am afraid I might fall. For good reason. Today, when walking down the stairs…oh yeah that is right I fell. Made a huge noise and walked away with a few bruises. Elevator = yes.

Then I get this text (see above)…oh boys….where do I start? First, last I heard you were asking me...but okay. How about this.
1. I am happy to make time to go out. But you are the boy who asked to go out and just because you can not man up enough to make a plan….do not send me these messages.
2. Clearly the past 2 weeks this has been weighing on your mind. Crap. That random guy at SBK was right, apparently I CAN take away happiness.
3. I apologize for not making a plan….what can I say I did not understand that that is what you were expecting me to do.

Then I think it is nice and cool outside so I will go for a run….remember that fall with my sweet shoes at work? Well my knee is a little swollen and it actually hurt when I tried to run….so home I went. Yes, I totally girl'd out and didn't run because it hurt....I'm okay with it.

And finally I get home and realize that in a moment to do more with my time I have turned off my cable. Awesome. Because tonight is the one time that you love your TV and watching anything to escape the day. But that is okay because I think to myself…why don’t you just man up and work out the pain. So on the treadmill I go….2 miles in the damn thing just shut off. I am not the type to even begin to pretend to know how to fix this…crap maybe I should have planned something with Nate or called that other dude back and they could have aided in the repair of my treadmill.

But don’t worry….I can roll with the punches. I have rediscovered Hulu…this day may be salvageable yet. Jealous of my life yet?

*side note…not all boys are lame…you know who you are.